


Where The Hurt Is.

by Damien



Series: The Word You Wield. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Fall Out Boy Lyrics, Gen, References to self-harm, SPN Drabble, Sam Winchester self-harms, Self-Harm, Tattoo, Tattoos, Winchester Boys/Shame is my OTP, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 22:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damien/pseuds/Damien
Summary: Sam Winchester  gets a tattoo to cover scars and remind himself.





	Where The Hurt Is.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Our Lawyers Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued" by Fall Out Boy.
> 
> This drabble features my headcanon of Sam Winchester struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation, although there aren't any particularly detailed descriptions.
> 
> You know yourself, dear reader, better than I ever could hope to, so _please_ use your best judgement; If you know that references to self-harm _could_ be triggering to you, please just skip this drabble.
> 
> If I didn't use the names of songs from a particular band to name my SPN fics, I'd have called this something like "Christmas Can't Come Soon Enough."

Sam fidgets almost imperceptibly, rolling and unrolling the sleeve of his flannel shirt in the palm of his right hand. Standing across the room next to a padded recliner, a trusted hunter prepares his tattoo gun and ink without looking up. A brief noise, somewhere between a cough and sigh grabs the man's attention. He greets Sam with a hug, and guides him onto the recliner while sliding the cart with the ink tray closer. Sam's eyes flicker from his hands to the ink to the man's face for a moment. With another uncomfortable sigh, Sam rolls up his right sleeve, revealing pale skin behind the tan line on his hand. Shakily, he places the back of his arm on the arm rest, presenting the scarred skin to the artist. A trained touch swabs and applies the transfer paper, leaving a blue outline of the design. At Sam's nod, the ink is applied to the gun and the outlining begins. Sam's eyes become unfocussed, leaving his mind to plunge into events still fresh enough to hurt. His hands flex unconsciously with the memory of Dean finding him in the bath tub and bandaging him as best as he could. Then, Dean dragging him, dressed only in a cheap, stained motel sheet, into an emergency room in the absolute middle of nowhere, and the consequent lock up in a psych ward. At the artists urging, Sam focuses on the fresh pain to draw him out of his own head. The outline emerges as Sam watches the needle trace and shade the shape. He leans his head back and hums quietly as the colors fill in, thinking about blood as the dark red mixes into the shading. The green stripes tug Sam back to a memory of trees blurring past the windows of the impala back in happier days. Before he even realizes it, the lettering is perfectly done, and pops out beautifully. On autopilot, Sam pays and says his thanks while rolling his sleeve down and nodding occasionally at the aftercare instructions. When he can finally be alone behind the wheel of the Impala, he pulls back the sleeve hurriedly and peels off the plastic wrap to reaffirm the message; _"Do not open before Christmas."_


End file.
